faith military

provision + hardwood floors

it wasn’t until the third time that the house was actually ours. though The Lord told us it was ours the first time we saw it, he actually brought us to a place where the only way we actually received this house was by none-other than his grace and provision for our family. you see, the housing market is a bit bonkers everywhere right now. and in colorado springs? wowza. most people buying a house here right now may multiple offers, if not 10, 20 or more before they finally are in a house.

being a military family means not quite as much flexibility and lots of coordination of schedules and report dates to get everybody under one roof again. the house i am currently sitting in is quite literally the grace of The Lord.

when our realtor first sent us videos of the house, we felt pretty confident this house was ours, the one The Lord has prepared for us. 6 minuets from some sweet friends, a tree with rock climbing pegs for alasdair, a yard for the dogs. it needed some work and had flaws for sure, but there was a peace in us that knew this was it.

long story short: we made an offer. we got beat, even though our offer was the better one the sellers took the other offer. the next day we learned that the sellers had countered the other buyers and the other buyers hadn’t responded in almost 24 hours. the sellers agreed to give the other buys until 3 pm to accept the counter or they would accept our original offer. at 2:55 pm the other buyers signed the counter. so, we moved on. doubting that we heard The Lord, bummed that we lost the house. we made an offer on another house and again, lost that one despite the fact that our offer was significantly higher than the others. we attempted offers on multiple other houses but before we could actually offer, we were already way out bid.

we were becoming defeated and frustrated and doubtful that we would be able to get in to a home in a reasonable amount of time.

then our agent called me.

the buyers of the first house backed out, and the sellers were coming to us.

we were the only ones who knew the other buyers had backed out, the sellers hadn’t reached out to any of the other prospects.

we resubmitted our offer, they accepted and 21 days later the house was ours.

His faithfulness abounds.

the hardwood floors, enough bedrooms to grow our family, plenty of space to host small groups and play dates and those needing a place to crash for awhile. we have some mountain views and our neighbor has chickens that Alasdair loves to watch. there a tree to climb and a garden bed already growing squash.

we doubted. our hearts were quick to not trust the voice we believed to be The Lord. but a sheep knows his shepherds voice. we were quick to abandon what The Lord had spoken when it looked like it wasn’t coming to fruition. but isn’t that just how The Lord works? when we are lost, broken, without hope, nothing is too far for the Lord to redeem. “Their Redeemer is strong; the Lord of Armies is his name.” Jeremiah 50:34, CSB

we learned to believe that what The Lord speaks is true. the housing market, a rejected offer, a messy past, a life altering mistake, none of it is too much or too far for Him to redeem.

May you be encouraged, friend, that He calls us deeper. He is better. His provisions are good.

Be deeply rooted in his word, that you may know the voice of your shepherd.

faith military

blessing follows obedience

there’s sometimes a gap, ya know, between what we read and claim to believe and what we actually practice. We believe that the spirit guides and directs, that Jesus calls us to follow in obedience even when we can’t see through the other side. It isn’t logical nor does it make any kind of sense for a man to step out into a roaring sea… except when it’s his friend and savior that’s beckoning. I don’t know what the rest of the guys in the boat were thinking when Peter stepped out into the water to walk towards Jesus but I’m betting they were thinking what we would think: BRO, it’s water. You like for sure can’t WALK on it. But Peter? Eyes on Jesus. It legit didn’t matter what they were saying, he knew where Jesus was and he was going. Or what about Abraham who was asked to sacrifice the very son for whom he had waited and believed God was going to fulfill His promise through? Obedience. Not contemplating, making a pros and cons list, logically thinking through or trying to make sense of. Obedience.

We felt the call to a specific city almost 4 years ago now after The Lord lead us to a certain place 5 years ago. I can’t go into details just yet but 4 years of believing we’d be there eventually but never knowing how or when. We didn’t know if it would be years or decades. And honestly I don’t know that we were completely confident that it was a desire from The Lord or just a fleshly desire.

Ryan came to me in October 2020, after officially being out of the army since June 2020, to say that he felt The Lord telling him he wasn’t done with the army. *cue all the emotions from me.* I was like wwaaaayyyy not on board. We spent the next four months praying, talking to mentors, literally met with a counselor more than once, talked with friends, did an marriage study. We spent hours upon hours upon hours walking through this decision. And maybe another time I’ll share more details but it came down to this: The Lord made it very, very clear through a series of events that the army was what was next for our family. And I was still like “uhhh, can we not?” But we were clinging to this phrase: “blessing always comes on the other side of obedience.” And knowing this is what he wanted, to do anything else would be direct disobedience which really would just be us (read: me) believing I know better than The Lord what’s best for our life, that surely signing up for military life can’t be best. But I was faced with the reality of this: if I believe He is good, He is sovereign, He really works all things for our good and His glory then what He’s asking of us is best. Maybe it brings deployments, maybe it’s living a contenannt away from family, maybe our kids grow up losing and making new friends every few years. From my view it made actually no sense. And yet… I knew it’s what He was asking us to do.

Peter did walk on the water. The Lord did provide a sacrifice for Abraham and The Lord did fulfill his promise to Abraham through Issac.

So, here we are. 57 days down of training. And we’ve got projected orders for his first duty station. And would you believe me if I told you that out of the 17+ duty stations he could’ve gotten, this one being one of the least likely for a whole slew of reasons, The Lord in his grace is sending us to the very place we’ve felt pulled for the last FOUR YEARS. We can’t say anything quite yet but we’ve talked to a dozen people who have confirmed that The Lord had to be at work in this because there is no other way we would end up here.

The Lord is faithful. He is kind. He is gracious and merciful. My doubt and unbelief does not deserve this goodness!

This is not a testament of how The Lord gives us what we want, because I believe that’s mostly not true. That he grants the desires of our heart when HE is the center of our heart. When we are so IN Him that His will IS the desire of our heart.

Blessing comes on the other side of obedience. Maybe weeks, months or years later. But The Lord is faithful to do a good work, to work all things. And friend, as a speak this over myself I speak it over you: stay rooted in His word, in the spirit that you may recognize His voice when he beckons, that like a sheep knows his shepherds voice, we may hear the quiet voice of the Father when He speaks.

Stay rooted, friend, in the only thing that lasts.

faith family military

welcome / what’s this all about

hey, friend. Im Portia. and man am i thankful you are here. here’s the run down: i married my my prom date in June of 2016. In under 5 years of marriage we managed to squeeze in: five homes, three dogs, one deployment, one baby, eleven jobs, 1.5 bachelors degrees, nine cars and somewhere around 1k bowls of popcorn. its been wild. Im not here because i think i’ve mastered any of these changes and have some new insight to share with you. nope. im a military wife, mama to a wild little man, wrangler of two dogs and believer that He really uses all things for our good and his glory. and when we really take Him at his word, in trusting the holy spirit we get to partner with The Lord in some wild and beautiful redemption stories. We’ve moved. like, a lot. with no sign of slowing down any time soon. we’ve yet to spend 2 Christmases in the same place. but even so, i believe in planting. in digging and watering and caring for the soil. in growing roots deep in community, deeper still in the word of God. deep roots let trees weather storms. whatever happens above the surface, be it leaves falling or limbs breaking, the tree lives on to see another day for the deep roots its grown beneath the surface. we get to be people rooted in the truth, watered by the word, deep in community with one another so that we may be steadfast in the storm. as a military wife, which really means a professional nomad, it’s inevitable that we will be uprooted. But we know we are rooted in much more than the city we call home or the local church we find ourselves in. While we value and seek to be rooted in the places that will undoubtedly change, we know we also get to grow roots within our family and in His word. We are simply seeking to be deeply rooted.